Agony and Ecstasy
by Mali-caren
Summary: ONSHOT from 'The Missing Boy' What happened the night Harry escaped from Voldie! he'd been captured for a YEAR, not that he could tell. time didn't seem to work when your dreading every moment...PLease R


Disclaimer: Jk's world, i'm just living here

A/N: This is what happened to Harry (From Harry's Pov) on the night he escaped. i most likely won't have this in the main story 'The Missing Boy' and if i do it won't in as much detail. i had it in my head and like i've said before, it's crowded in there lol. it needed to come out. so here it is!

P.s: This is a ONESHOT

please R&R

Hope you enjoy

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P.S. i'm posting this again. sorry to thouse who have already read this!

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Agony and Ecstasy

Harry was curled up in the corner of his cell, rocking slowly back and forth. Everything hurt, but especially his chest…but he didn't dare look at it. He was glad he only remembered bits and pieces of what happened to him, he didn't know what was wrong with his memory, but he wasn't about to complain about it. No, it was a good thing. _I'd be insane if I could remember everything_ he thought as a shiver convulsed down his spine, a ripple of pain following it a second later.

That wasn't to say he didn't remember…oh, he wished he could say he didn't. But he did…

"_Well, look who it isss" **his** cold cruel voice said as he looked around at the circle of his followers._

"_The_ famousss_ Harry Potter, the _famousss_ Boy-Who-Lived. Welcome to my humble abode" he continued. Harry looked up at his parent's murderer with a scowl. He didn't say anything; he knew there was nothing to say._

"_On your feet" Voldemort suddenly said, none of his 'welcome' remaining in his voice. Harry continued to scowl, he didn't move. He wasn't going to play _any_ of Voldemort's games._

"_I sssaid on your feet Potter," the Dark Lord repeated. Harry sneered. _Just kill me and get it over and done with_ he thought, knowing he didn't have a chance to escape,_ At least not now_, a flicker of anger past over Voldemort's reptilian face._

"_Up!" he snarled, thrusting his wand at Harry. For a moment blissful blankness consumed his mind,_ is that all he can do?_ Harry thought through the emptiness, he quickly threw off the spell, remaining on the floor at Voldemort's feet. _

"_What do you want?" Harry asked, sick of Voldemort speaking, Voldemort arched a hairless brow_

"_What do I want? You of all people ssshould know that by now" he purred, Harry closed his eyes for a second. _Oh shit. He wants me dead

"_The Prophecccy young Missster Potter. The Prophecccy" Voldemort said quietly, his red eyes aglow. _

"_The what?" Harry asked, he'd never heard of a Prophecy! Voldemort laughed_

"_Do not play dumb Potter, it is not becoming. Look at me Harry" he said and Harry quickly glued his eyes to the floor_

"_legilimens won't work on me" Harry said, it was a lie. A very stupid lie, a lie he wished was truthful_

"_Oh, you believe ssso Potter" Suddenly someone was curling their fingers around his chin, tilting his head upwards. Harry shut his eyes as tightly as he could. _

"_Fine Harry. Play your gamesss. But I will know the Prophecccy in its entirety, mark my wordsss…" Harry felt the wand tip jab into his neck a second before the curse he knew was coming came._

"_CRUCIO!" Harry couldn't stop his eyes opening wide in pain as he yelled pure murder. _

_And then pain even worse then the Curtactius curse seemed to split his head in two. He heard Voldemort's cry of triumph echo inside his head. _No, no, no, no, no_ Voldemort began to shift through his memories, tossing each aside like rotting garbage before he continued on to the next. _NO! _Harry yelled mentally and aloud. He forced his eyes to shut and focused on the one thing he knew Voldemort couldn't stand. Love. And he knew only three people who fell into that category. He loved Ron like a brother. His face flashed through his mind, he loved Hermione like a sister,_ _her face joined Ron's, and he loved Sirius like a father. Padfoots bark like laugh crashed through his head. Harry heard Voldemort yell out in pain and suddenly Voldemort's presence in his mind was gone. _

Have I won?_ He wondered, his breath raggered and sharp from the Curtactius curse._

"_He thinksss he hasss won. Ssshow him who isss in charge here" Voldemort's voice snarled and suddenly a single word was echoing around Harry, magnified by the echoing room, what seemed like thousands of voices called the one word that would insure Harry was in pain to the point of insanity._

"**_CRUCIO" _**

_Harry's screams lasted through out the night._

Harry tried to shake the memory away; he was trembling like a leaf. But as soon as he did another came and took its place…

He was laying on the grimy floor, his breath shallow and rasping. Who invented the Curtactius curse? I want to kill them! He thought, his fists half clenching at his sides…what? Harry forced his eyes open and looked at his hands. They were quivering though he couldn't feel the movement. He frowned and tried to close his fist again. He couldn't. His fingers only twitched and started to curl before they stopped. That can't be good he thought, biting his lip, only to yelp and stop immediately. Apparently last night I bit through my lip…Bloody Death Eaters.

"_Awake are we?" Harry froze at the sound of the voice. Steeling himself he pushed himself into a sitting position despite his bodies complaints. _

"_Are you ready to tell us the Prophecy?" Harry glared at the owner of the voice_. His son looks exactly like him_ he thought in disgust._

"_What do you think?" Harry tried to snarl, but his voice was hoarse from yelling. Lucius laughed._

"_Ah, well, if you want to be the 'hero' do so in your own time" he snapped._

"_If you'd just let the Dark Lord into your mind you would make things a lot easier for yourself" he said, Harry Laughed, but the sounds soon turned into a cough_

"_No chance. Your not getting it from me" he repeated. _

"_Well, if that's your answer then we'll just continue our other way to make you talk" he said, producing a flask of something from the folds of his voluptuous robes. _

_In one sharp movement he removed the flasks stopper and dumped the potion over Harry's head. _

_He was on fire. He could feel his skin melting and dripping from his scalp! Harry screamed as he flung his hands to his head, only for them to burn as well. He fell back to the floor, his back arching in agony. He saw his hands, excepting to see blood and bone he was surprised to see they were whole…but covered with a purple liquid. It was just the potion! He realised, that was what he could feel dripping from his head, it wasn't the flesh he had thought it was!_

"_It hurts doesn't it?" Lucius said softly as he knelt beside Harry's writhing form. A smile formed on his pale face as he saw the pain on Harry's'._

"_I can make it stop" he continued to say, producing another flask, this one filled with green liquid. Harry closed his eyes against the sight. He wasn't going to say anything! He heard Lucius get back to his feet._

"_Fine Potter" he said. And then he heard a sound that made his stomach plummet. Shattering glass._

"_There goes your potion Harry, have a nice night" Harry's eyes snapped open. Beside him, what remained of the green potion slowly seeped into the cracks of the stone floor. Without thinking he dragged himself to where what little of the potion remained, glass cut at his skin but he didn't notice. He was still on fire, yet somehow he had stopped screaming. Harry scooped some of the potion from the floor with shaking hands, sharp shards of glass slicing into his palm. As soon as the green liquid touched his hands they stopped burning. He smeared the potion on his head and it too stopped blazing. _

_Harry groaned and collapsed back to the floor. He wasn't going to talk. He wasn't…_

Harry closed his eyes; _I just want to go home_ he thought. _Home- Hogwarts- Ron- Hermione- Sirius-_ he could see them all in his head, he could see Ron on the train in his first year, dirt smudged on his nose, laughing and smiling. He could see Hermione at the Yule Ball in her pale blue dress, beaming as she danced around the Great Hall with Victor Krum. He could see Sirius flying away on Buckbeaks back the first night he had met him. He could hear his bark like Laugh.

Harry slowly looked up, wincing at the pain in his neck.

_I'm going to go home_.

Only determination allowed him to get to his feet. He lent heavily against the cell wall, it was moist and slimly under his palm. He squinted into the gloom, just making out the blurry shape of the door.

His glasses had been one of the first things to break. It was on the first night of his capture in fact…_being thrown face first into a cold hard floor could do that. _He thought with a trace of his old self. But with that thought came another.

_Suddenly he was on his Firebolt, zooming through the clear sky at Hogwarts, chasing the golden snitch. He reached out and curled his fingers around the tiny balls squirming form. Cheers erupted around him. He was beaming as he looked down at the Gryfindores stands. He thrust his hand holding the snitch in the air in triumph. He'd won the game…_

_He was running through the halls of Hogwarts, his robes billowing around him as he ran. Panting he stopped next to a door and pushed it open_

"_Sorry I'm late Professor" he said as he quickly took his seat_

"_Glad you could join us Harry" Lupin said with a laugh. Harry felt himself blush slightly, but he was smiling. He was sitting between his two best friends, he was in his favourite class, he was in Hogwarts…_

Harry straightened his shoulders and stumbled forwards towards the door. He caught himself on it, panting already. _Can I do this?_ He asked himself. A small smile spread on his face,_ even if I can't I will, _he thought as he felt along the door, like everything in the room it was moist and slimy.

Frustration and fatigue made his fingers numb as they fumbled clumsily across the doors surface. _This is all that stands between me and freedom! _His mind yelled angrily. Harry closed his eyes and breathed deeply, trying to calm himself. He failed. Harry's fist collided with the wooden door, again and again. _Open. OPEN!_ He bellowed inwardly. Suddenly a flash of bright blinding light illuminated the darkness. For a moment Harry could see the bloody marks he had left of the door from his raw knuckles, for a moment he could see every detail of the woods grain, lock, hinges…

And then the door swung open.

Harry didn't stop to contemplate how he had opened the door. Or even if it was _him_ who opened it. He just ran.

As he cleared a corner he stumbled and slammed against the wall. His legs, like everything else where bleeding and bruised. He closed his eyes, breathing through the pain and pushed himself from the wall._ I have to get out of here. This will be my only chance._ He thought as he reopened his eyes. He couldn't see anything, the tunnel he was in was completely black, he could only see the brightly coloured lights burned into his pupils by the bright flash that had set him free. Have to keep running, have to keep running, have to keep running. The words began to repeat themselves over and over in his mind, it's all he could think of as he stumbled blindly, finding a corridor and talking it.

Everything was dark, there was no light, the only sound around him was his own raggered breath and the thump of his feet on the stone floor and they blood pounding in his ears. He had his hands in front of him like a blind man, slowly moving back and forth so if he ran into something he could stop himself. His fingers bumped into another wall and he felt along it, it was a corner…as soon as he turned and took the new path a stench so powerful that it made him gag met his nose. His eyes watered as he clamped his fingers over his face. Something had died. He could smell it's rotting flesh. And in his minds eyes see it's decaying form. _Don't think about it; don't think about it; don't think about It, _the new chant took the old ones place, but now the only thing he could do was move forward. The rhythm of his heart and his foot falls where in time, yet his breath was erratic.

_I have to get out;_ his mind repeated as he found another tunnel to follow… somehow this passageway was different. Harry stopped for a moment, light-headed from being on his feet for so long…but something was definitely different. Harry's eyes widened. _The air. The air!_ He closed his eyes, and felt his hair move slightly. _There's fresh air in this tunnel. Where there's fresh air, there's a way out!_ Harry's eyes snapped back open and he turned to where he thought the air was coming from. Slowly he steeped forward. He was going in the right direction. He took another steep; there was nothing there to catch his foot.

Harry toppled down what he soon found out were stairs. His head collided with the sidewall, causing stars to appear in his line of light. His hip caught the edge of a steep, bruising him to the bone. He would have yelled, but he seemed to have lost his voice a long time ago.

Dizzy with pain Harry lay sprawled at the foot of the stone stairs. He tried to move but a tsunami of pain crashed through his body. _This is my only chance to get out of here…_He tried to move again only to have to same result,_ and I can't. Bloody. Move!_

Despair tore at his mind, _they_ would find him in the morning, they would punish him for trying to escape, and then they would throw him back into his cell. He wasn't going anywhere. Harry frowned at his thoughts; _I'm not just going to give up!_ He ground his teeth together and rolled over-right into a door.

_What?_ His face was pressed against the stone floor; right beside the crack between the door its self and the rough ground. A smile once again spread across his face, wind was mussing his hair. He could smell rain… he could even hear it!

Energy suddenly coursed through his body and Harry dragged himself to his feet using the door. _I have to get out, I have to get out, I have to get out, I HAVE TO GET OUT! _He began clawing at the wood, bloodying his nails in the process but nothing penetrated through the think layer of determination that coated his mind. Nothing as simple as pain.

_I HAVE TO GET OUT! I HAVE TO GET OUT! I HAVE TO GET OUT!_ The five words became a never-ending tattoo in his mind. It's all there was, it's all that mattered, it's all he could do.

Another blinding flash of light burst into existence, bright electrical blue. For a moment Harry saw the shape of a mans face in the brilliance. But the instant he recognised what it was it disappeared.

Before him lay the smouldering remains of the once strong door. And beyond them a short tunnel, and at the end of the tunnel-Harry could see rain.

Blind with ecstasy he blundered towards the sound of rain, he wanted to feel the droplets on his face. He had to.

It was like breaking through a thick oppressive shroud as he stepped from the tunnels mouth. As the water touched his battered face he wanted to yell with joy, but his voice was still lost to him. Harry fell to his knees in the soggy earth. Thunder roared overhead, and the world around him was thrown into relief as lightning broke the stormy sky in two.

_I'm out. I'm out…I'm free._ As the thought roamed across his mind Harry fell forward in a dead faint, the sound of rain cascading from the sky echoing eerily in his head.

He opened his eyes groggily, he had no idea what time had past, or even if any had. For all he knew it was only seconds later. But the rain was still falling, lighting still lit up the sky in waves of white power, and thunder still shook the earth with what seemed like rage…

Something was stroking his arm… painfully he moved his head so he could see what it was…_ Thestral_, _that's a Thestral_, some part of his mind that wasn't dizzy with pain told him as he looked at the skeletal beast. Harry tried to jerk his arm out of the creatures reach but couldn't get his limb to move; so the horse like creature continued to lick at the blood that oozed lazily from the slash it had found there.

"Get away" he tried to say but it came out as a hoarse grunt. The Thestral raised its head slowly until it was looking him in the eye… The intelligence present in the milky white depth was disturbing. With what looked like a dismissive twitch it returned to its 'meal'. Harry had no energy, he could barely keep his eyes open, he couldn't be bothered to try and get the Thestral to leave him alone. So he let his eyes close and his head fall back to the mud with a sickening 'squelch'.

But…Somehow Harry forced his eyes _back_ open. The Thestral had taken a step back, it was looking at him with…_I'm going mad, no. I'm already mad. But that can't be concern…_ The beast took a step forward, it's claws sinking into the soft earth, and nudged his shoulder with its reptilian snout.

"Get away from me!" he wanted to yell, but, once again it came out as a hoarse gurgling sound form the back of his throat…_ that can't be good_ he thought blearily as his already hazy vision swam in and out of focus…

The Thestral nudged his arm again, more forcefully this time, causing his shoulder to throb in pain.

_Please leave me alone_ he thought at it, knowing his voice didn't work. The skeletal face tilted slightly and it blinked its empty eyes lazily at him…

_Move!_

Suddenly the Thestral's head snapped up, looking over Harry and into the tunnel behind him; it's ears twitching…a moment later Harry heard it.

Footsteps. Heading his way.

Some distant part of his mind tried to force his tired body to its feet, to get away. He had to get away…_I have to get up!_ Harry breathed in deeply, only to inhale mud, he spluttered and coughed loudly, causing spazams of pain to convulse his body. But the rain still falling around him was louder, and the vapour that was rising from the ground was on his side. The Thestral's eyes remained glued to the tunnels mouth. Un-moving and surrounded by the swirling mist the creature looked like some grotesque black marble sculpture looming above him. _Like the death that is about to swoop on you if you don't move!_ A small voice yelled in his head. Harry's breath wheezed from his lungs, yet somehow he struggled to lift his body from the ground. Just. The movement caused the beast to turn its vacant eyes to him; once again it cocked its head.

"Fresh air! Finally!" a gruff voice said, Harry heard the sound of a match being stuck, followed soon after by a small crackle of flame as something caught alight…_I have to leave…NOW!_ The Thestral seemed to read his mind, it slowly lowered its head, as if offering to help him to his feet…Harry didn't have time to think, he just reached out and curled his fingers into the rough scaly skin, with a gritted teeth he pulled himself to his feet, his arm trembling under the strain. But he was on his feet. It had worked.

Suddenly his head spun and he almost fell back to ground, but his fingers seemed to have frozen in place. The horse like monster flapped its wings, causing the fog around them to spin away in whirlwinds of grey. But the look in its eyes was so human it was frightening. It was frustrated, panicking and scared. It wanted to get away, quickly.

And so did he.

With his last ounce of strength he hurled himself onto the creatures back, the moment he was in place he felt his legs began to shake from fatigue or pain he couldn't tell. But the Thestral didn't wait for him to get his bearings or a firm grip; it just flapped its bat like wings, once, twice, each time more air billowing the thin membrane of its wings… he couldn't help but stare at the beating wings. The parchment thin layer of skin caught more air and suddenly they were rising from the ground, higher, and higher…

Rain was still beating at his bear tender skin; everywhere it touched he seemed to hurt…but why was everything suddenly so quiet? With unfocused eyes he looked around, it was still raining, lightning was still crashing across the sky…but he could barely hear any of it, just a distant echo. His hands were numb, still culching tightly at the Thestral's skin, and his head was still dizzy with pain…Harry's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he slumped forward against the Thestral's neck. His scar burning as it had been for the past year, his chest rising and falling shakily.

But he was soaring away… away from everything that had happened to him.

He was free, truly free.

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And that's how it happened! I hope you all liked it. I really enjoyed writing this :D, twas fun. Please review and tell me what you think. And bonus points to who can guess who's face Harry saw in the blue light.

Oh, and 'The Missing Boy' is my version of Harry's fifth year, so that's how he knew about Legilimens and to avoid eye contact (He was taught early in the book) but as for the Prophecy, well, Harry found out about that at the very end of the fifth book, so when he was with Voldy he didn't know about it. But if you've read 'The Missing Boy' you'll know he found out about it in a dream after his escape. I hope that clears up that matter. Hope it wasn't too confusing. Thankyou if you review!

Mali Caren

(Like I've said in every. Single. Chapter. of 'The Missing Boy'. See the little button just below this writing? CLICK IT AND SEND ME A REVIEW! I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE I GET! PLEASE ADD ANOTHER ONE FOR ME!)


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